Sunday, November 6, 2011
Anonymous (I don't know who you are.. Since I had no other way of contacting you, I had no other choice to leave a post.. Because I need to clarify some things. (Anonymous - The person who commented on my post about the baby from yesterday.)
To everyone else reading, I'm sorry - But I have no other way to get in touch with her.
I haven't been dealing with depression - Which is why I stopped taking my medication. I'm not having any loss of control.. Obviously I had no way of knowing what was about to happen. I DID NOT cry in front of her, and I instantly got down on my knees, gave her a hug, and told her it was okay, and it was not her fault. I did not in ANY WAY show my emotions. I held them in like I always do, and I honestly feel that you shouldn't ASSUME.
It's rude to ASSUME that I went nuts and had a depression episode in front of the children. Because it DID NOT happen like that. I've been watching these kids since I was 15, and I love them like family.
I am extremely close with their mother.. I have scars from past depression episodes, and she knows what I've gone through. I'm not hiding anything from her, and I told her exactly what happened yesterday with the baby, before I left. As soon as I left their home (this was 10 minutes after the incident happened) I went home, started crying (who wouldn't cry!?) and because I have such a close relationship with a lot of my readers, I sat down and wrote a post. I don't know how your depression affects you, but it helps me to talk, or tell people how I'm feeling.
I don't know how long you've been following my blog.. But if you have been following for a while I'm sure you know that my grandpa passed away not long ago. This was my first loss since losing my grandfather, and it was really hard on me. I have been dealing with the loss of my grandpa.. He left peacefully, and I hold on to that fact. It keeps me strong.
Next time I feel like maybe you should email me. I value opinions, but I think it's rude to ASSUME things.
When I said "I Literally can't deal with anything right now" I definitely wasn't saying I wanted to die or anything. I was saying I can't deal with the loss of this baby.. Meaning it was extremely hard, and I didn't know how to handle to situation.. "I can't do this" meaning I can't blog right now... I can't do all of these things that I have on my plate..and are expected of me.
I hope this clarified more for you. I feel like I was being called a bad person, and I feel that I needed to defend myself.
I really hope you see this.