Saturday, July 28, 2012

Rats and More May be Closing

As a lot of you know, I have been on vacation. Well, I just got home, and I'm not sure if this is just a part of my MPD or depression acting up, but I just have felt an overwhelming sense of failure.

I love blogging, and I love all of my readers so much, but right now I am just completely overwhelmed, not only by the amount of things I need to catch up on, but with life in general.

I have about 5,000 emails, posts to write, and things I need to take care of in my own personal life right now. I've tried reaching out to all of you to let you know that I am not home, but I keep getting emails with demands, etc, and right now, I just can't handle that.

I will get everything done that needs to be done, but after it's all done, I am going to seriously consider what is best for me, and decide if I will continue to run my blog.

I get depressed thinking about not writing my posts anymore, but it seems that things have become more demanding than rewarding. I put a lot of time into my posts and such, but lately I've gotten emails from people stating that they won't visit anymore if I don't get more posts up, etc, and it's taking a huge toll on me emotionally.

I just spent 2 weeks with my family that I haven't seen in years, and now after getting home and counting the funds we have left from our trip, we've realized we'd have enough to go visit Aaron's family as well, who I have actually only met once. But the thought of leaving for another week+ is just killing me. I don't think it should be like that.

This past Thursday also marked the 1 year anniversary of my grandpa's passing, and I really needed this time away to keep myself in check emotionally, but it seems like this "vacation" has caused me more stress than relief. Blogging over the past couple years has been an outlet for my depression. In the past I used other forms of relief (which I am not proud of, and won't mention here, because I can't even imagine the ridicule I'd get) with my depression, and it was nice having this other outlet, since I couldn't turn to art anymore. But now I am really starting to question everything regarding this blog.
I'm not a very strong person, and I can't handle all of the hounding that is being put on me.
I've talked in the past about the ridicule I receive from some readers, and I'm extremely sad that the problem is just escalating.

I thought everyone could understand that I needed a small break to be with my family for 2 weeks, but I was wrong, and, I really don't think I can handle this again.

I'm sorry for this rant, I've just been extremely upset, because when I came home I should have been rejoicing to be home with my mom and Aaron, but instead I came home to read 2 terrible, hurtful and depressing comments/ emails.

65 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear that things are going so roughly for you lately and that blogging is so much pressure. I hope that you won't close down, but completely understand that you need to do what is best for you. I hope that you can take the time to visit Aaron's family and relax and enjoy the time with them.

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  2. Do what is best for YOU. I'm sorry that some folks feel the need to be negative. Feeling like you can never "unplug" and take a break can't possibly be good....not just for you, but for anyone. I hope whatever decision you make leads to a more peaceful life for you.

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  3. That's horrible! I'm so sorry that this has happened. Honestly, some people. . .

    I pray that you are able to do what is best for you, even if it means losing a wonderful blog!

    Konstanz Silverbow
    nothoughts2small.blogspot.com

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  4. Being a blogger myself I know it's not easy to step always from blogging especially when you love what you're doing. But (and there is always a but) after feeling really burned out earlier this year I went on a one-month hiatus and it was the best decision ever. It gave me time to recharge my batteries and my blog readers haven't been running off in droves either. So I think that maybe this could work for you too. Doesn't have to be a month, could be shorter or longer, and trust me you'll know when you're ready to be back. And in the meantime just enjoy some me-time!!

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  5. WTH?
    "I've gotten emails from people stating that they won't visit anymore if I don't get more posts up, etc, "

    What right do they have saying that? Or why are they emailing you? If they followed you even a little bit they would know you are on vacation and besides that anniversary you lost a rattie ,plus you were away from Aaron.

    Really Amanda, if they want to unfollow or unsubscribe because you take a break (that you announced) if thats all it takes- goodness you don't need them.

    I mean not everyone is gonna agree with you all the time, not everyone is gonna say good job, not everyone is going to be in complete agreement- and that's OK because we live in a free country, and because we all have opinions- that you can take and understand. BUT you also don't need nor are you required to take abuse or rudeness repeatedly.

    This ticks me off...... people knew you were on a break.

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  6. Dear Amanda,
    I am so sorry that people are acting that way towards you. They sound psychotic, and sadly there are so many people infected with the type of attitudes you have been confronted with lately in your emails. I say, if they are threatening not to read your blog anymore then...good riddance to those toxic individuals who keep bringing you down, you don't need it. You are right, what is important for you mostly is your personal life and your family. True friends and loyal blog readers will always be here, if not, then you can just shut them out because if they are not around when times are rough, then they just don't care, they are calus, and not worth it, not real friends, not loyal blog followers. Anyone who has ever suffered anything in life should have a heart and try and give you some space, time off. Heck, I sometimes go for weeks and even months without blogging. People need to learn you are human, and you need to breath, eat, sleep, function, and have a life too, and it's not always all about them, and if they don't like it they need to just move along and abuse someone who enjoys being abused. Sorry I ranted but I felt like you needed the support. I am going to pray for you and send you some Reiki. I started following your blog quite a ways back because I think your cool. God bless.
    Oh yeah, on my blog I have a couple of posts about stress, energy, and the human mind as well as posts on depression, and herbs. I will put some links below for you.
    Sat Nam, **(-_-)**
    Piper
    http://piper-of-pipers-lair-blog.blogspot.com/2008/07/answers-about-unwanted-emotions-and.html
    http://piper-of-pipers-lair-blog.blogspot.com/2009/02/stress-energy-and-herbs.html
    http://piper-of-pipers-lair-blog.blogspot.com/2008/07/hope.html
    http://piper-of-pipers-lair-blog.blogspot.com/2010/02/something-to-think-about-next-time.html
    http://piper-of-pipers-lair-blog.blogspot.com/2010/07/know-that-someone-cares.html
    People have a lot more in common then they think, just some don't know how to express it, so they repress it, and then they take their crap out on someone nice like you. Hugs.

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  7. i'm so sorry dear, don't let those persons takes away something you like. Take the break you need andtake care of you . forget those mails you have hundreds of loyal followers to back you up so don't worry

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  8. I really dont understand what is wrong with some people? why would anyone give your any trouble about how many posts you post or what you say. It is like tv , if you dont like the show change the channel, if someone didnt like your blog they should just go elswhere! This really makes me mad as i have followed you and your blog for a few years now, and I enjoy what you post no matter how often or not, frankly alot of blogs talk to much lol and fill my email box numerous times a day so I think you do just fine with that. Anyone who has followed you know you are a sweet girl who means no harm to anyone so why anyone would want to do you harm is beyond me. If you decide that it is too much and close your blog I will miss it, but will fully understand that I will wish you all the best in your future . I hope those people who are bothering you read this and think about how petty and miserable I think they are for harrassing you. I for one think you have done a great job with this blog and appreciate the effort you have put into it , rant away, everyone needs to do that now and then and it sounds like it is a well earned rant , hope today is better

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  9. how can anyone write such things to you? :/ I wish I could give you strength to ignore such e-mails, but I know that I would be hurt too. I hope you won't close your blog, cause the blogosphere would miss you. and blogging can be a great emotional outlet. I wish you all the best and I respect whichever decision you will make. I hope that you will continue blogging even if you decide to shut this blog down (since it's overwhelming). However, everyone deserves a rest now and then, especially if we have problems with depression. I've been there too, so I perfectly understand. But I try to continue with blogging, even if not regularly, because it helps me to stay away from the bottom of depression.

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  10. I'm new here but you seem to be doing a lot of good. In the net world ordinarily timid people sometimes become professional haters because they don't have to face any consequences. They spend their time posting negative hurtful things on others blogs. They have nothing else going on in their lives. Consider the source! You need to learn to move on, ignoring them. They have only the power you give them. Keep up your good work, at your own pace.

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  11. Remember you and your family come first and that is it. Don't feel guilty about your blog.

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  12. I will miss you--but understand completely!! If people do not have something nice to say they should just not say anything at all!! I am so sorry this happened to you--perhaps after a rest period ( a month?) you can get back into blogging!

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  13. JMHO, but you should just go through and delete all of the emails that are stacked up. None of them are that important and if they did happen to be, I'm sure you will get another. Amanda, don't let this get you down. Honestly you are probably exhausted. Step away from the computer! And hurtful as those comments probably are, don't let the people behind them ruin what you have worked so hard for. If I can help you work through anything, please let me know! Hand in there, it does get better.
    Big hugs

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  14. So sorry to hear that things are not going so well for you...You do deserve a break, everyone does, as we are all human after all.

    The bad part is that some people are just mean-spirited & there is truly no way to stop that. I think it is ridiculous that people would send you emails just to be nasty. They ought to expend their energy elsewhere.

    You have always been upfront regarding your struggles with depression and MPD so people need to understand that you are going to experience rough periods. If they don't understand, they should be on their merry way and not spend time sending you nasty emails.

    It would be a shame to close your blog after all of the work you have put into it...that being said though, you have to do what works for you. It is important that you don't burn yourself out just to manage your blog. It is a lot of work. I had one as well and had to let it go because I just couldn't keep up.

    You need to do whatever your intuition is telling you to do. Even those without any mental health issues get overwhelmed with keeping up so the fact that you have done so well up to now is amazing. You need to give yourself a pat on the back!

    Just take some time to do some soul searching and decide what it best for you before you close the blog. It is important to truly take the time to think about it so that you don't close it and have regrets later. Take care of you! X0

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  15. That is ridiculous! Amanda, this is YOUR blog. You can blog every day, once a week, once a month or once a year and no one should hound you or ridicule you for ANYTHING. This is YOUR space. Tell them to not visit if they don't like it. I can't even imagine... the rudeness of some people is INFURIATING! I would be tempted to erase all emails and not even worry about them. And my advice is to walk away for awhile. A week, two weeks, a month, however long it takes for you to feel more positive. This is YOUR space, do not let others tell you how to run it. You have thousands of readers, you don't need the negative ones anyway.

    Good luck figuring it all out. And be strong, we'll be here when/ if you come back. (((Hugs)))

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  16. If some of your readers want to leave because you aren't posting enough, let them. You're better off without them. Do whatever makes you happy. If posting once a week, once a month makes you happy, do it. You might have some that aren't concerned about your mental well being that leave because of it..well, good riddance, I say. The understanding readers will still be here. I hope you feel better!

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  17. Hey, you are a good blogger and we all like you.
    Never lose hope. Keep patience, good time will definitely come. You can take a long break and then continue blogging. Don't take it as 24 hr job..rest, relax and enjoy.

    Cheers!!

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  18. I am sorry you are going through all this. I have suffered from depression in the past (post partum) but it was debilitating! I personally think you shouldn't do away with blogging because you love it. However, post as you can. If someone doesn't want to visit your blog because you don't post enough, really are they true "blog friends?" I frequent one blogger that seems to only post once a week. If she posts more, I don't ever see it. But I like her style, who cares if all she has time for is once a week.

    The fact that you use it as an outlet says a lot. I understand sponsors do expect timeliness, but other than obligations with that, take the break you need. When you give yourself permission to do this, you may find yourself wanting to post. Remember, every small accomplishment is a big one when you are depressed. You got out of bed? AWESOME! It's a good start! Good luck, and I will read even if you post once a month

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  19. Just remember anytime you write and deal with as many people as you do there will always be a couple of them that are real downers. Just remember the thousands of us that think you are THE BOMB and be glad you are not like those negative people, imagine having to live like that, must be miserable and bad karma . poopoo on them! Having said that, do what is best fro you sweetie!

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  20. Gosh I am so sorry you had to come home to read mean and hurtful emails. I just don't understand what in the heck is wrong with people these days and their need to treat others (bloggers) in the mean-spirited way they do. I hear things like this all the time. They must be really unhappy people or sick in the head, probably both.

    I for one really enjoy your blog, enjoy receiving the email notifications and everything.

    It is not easy to deal with depression and if you don't have an outlet for it, it can make it seem impossible to deal with.

    Take time away, as much as you need, to determine if blogging is of benefit to you. We will be here waiting.

    Big hug for you {{{HUG}}} and take care.

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  21. I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. I suffer from mind numbing, soul crushing depression myself, so I can relate to your posts. People can be cruel and thoughtless but since you don't even know the ones that are hurting your feelings, there is no reason to take it to heart. Take care of yourself first and foremost. If closing your blog turns out to be what's best for you,then so be it. Good luck with everything.

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  22. You have to do what's best for you. Please don't let those hurtful emails get you down. I would say just to do your best and I also think it's important to spend time with family. If people don't realize that. then they are the ones missing out. I don't pretend to know what is going on, but I do want to let you know that other care.

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  23. I will be the first to say that you need to step back and take care of you. Period. I do not recommend closing down a blog. I, too, am a blogger and I suffer from depression on and off as well as anxiety. Your readers should not be demanding anything from you and if that is how they choose to behave, they can move on and find a new blogger to harass. That is 100% unacceptable behavior from anyone. You do not need that kind of readership and know that if you lose some, new ones that will care will take their place. You do not need to put up with anyone treating you poorly. A blog is just like a full time job and sometimes you need a vacation. You need that for you! I do have some suggestions if you need content while you are away (consider bringing in some guest posts that you can schedule) but do not let anyone take away your outlet of blogging. No one.

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  24. I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I hope the much needed break that you'll be taking will help you sort out what you need to and rejuvenate.

    From one blogger to another, I support you. Please don't let a few readers and/or followers destroy your faith in the blogging and reading community---and especially to dishearten you about something you love and enjoy doing. When you're ready, we'll be here.

    Remember, it's your blog and your ownership of it. You're free to do as you please! Stay strong and be encouraged! Everything will work out.

    A fellow book blogger,
    Zara Alexis @ The Bibliotaphe's Closet

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  25. Greetings from Canada, eh:
    Sorry, to hear about your recent developments.
    I always enjoyed visiting your site.
    Stay strong..
    cheers
    Dayle.

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  26. I'm very sorry that you received so many nasty comments. Nobody needs that. You've provided a service, nobody is paying you to do this, and you don't owe anything to anybody. Thank you for all your posts. I sure do hope you are feeling better soon. You ARE appreciated!

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  27. Hon, you do what you think is best for you!

    All the best,
    Danielle

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  28. I am so sorry that people don't seem to understand that you do this blog because it's something that you love, not because you owe anyone anything. People need to realize that you have a life outside of this blog, so that when you are absent, we will miss you, but we understand. I'm sorry that you had to come home from vacation to deal with bullies! Just know that not everyone is like that. You take your time and the ones that understand and truly love what you do will be here waiting for you with open arms and a big smile on their faces.

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  29. Amanda I am sorry that you have to deal with a@@holes. I have always enjoyed your blog. I have found it very entertaining and was impressed that it was written by someone so young.

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  30. take time for yourself and your family. Your blog can be put on hold. nothing is more important then family and your health. go visit your husbands family quilt free!

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  31. No ridicule from me. I have tried twice to create a blog that was a potential income earner AND an outlet and couldn't take the pressure. I have bipolar disorder and on my ups I want to write and on my downs all I can think is, "What was I thinking?"

    Most of my coping mechanisms prior to beign treated weren't so hot and some were absolutely dangerous. The only one that never caused any harm was my Disney one. It was safe to pursue because I never used spending to cope. Which I think is kind of funny in an "you'd only get it if you have mental illness" kind of way.

    For what it is worth, you have my support no matter what you do.

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  32. Welcome home Amanda. We missed you. I was thrilled that you were connecting with family. Most of the world takes time to do that and you deserved it.
    Unfortunately there are people who seriously have issues and look for any reason to complain. Don't let their negativity get to you. It's your blog - no one said you have to post day in and day out.

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  33. I'm sorry that you received some hurtful emails. Try to remember that there are always some people who are demanding and selfish. They think everyone owes them and so very little in return. You have been a great blogger and hostess. I shall be sorry if you have to sop, but you have to take care of yourself first.

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  34. Shame on those people who are demanding posts! I'm a young adult who struggles with anxiety and depression and its so easy to be overwhelmed and so hard to cope.I'm sure your blog started out as a personal blog and some people don't realize that. I'd simply ignore the people who are demanding posts. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. If you're unsure about quitting your blog just take a break. Your true followers will be here when you get back. Good luck hun!

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  35. I'm sorry to hear this, but you gotta do what's best for YOU!
    {{{{{ hugs }}}}}

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  36. Wow..I've never got any emails like that for my site, but you have more readers than I do, and I guess you must have readers that "miss" hearing from you on a regular basis.
    Don't take it too badly though- as you can't please everyone like the saying goes.
    http://www.oneincomedollar.com

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  37. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I love reading your blog, but I 100% understand and believe that family should come first no matter what. The people that make you have these horrible feelings are just pathetic. You do an awesome job and have to take a breather. I say go visit your other side of the family and if other's don't like it they will get over it or move on!

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  38. The problem with the internet that I've noticed is that people tend to think they are completely anonymous. Some people I wonder if they even realize they are even speaking to another human being when they say such hurtful things. I am sorry people have hurt you and I know that with the mindset you're in, it is hard to let mean words roll off your back.

    I've been a very casual follower of your blog, but I've seen that we have a lot in common: both named Amanda, both lovers of rats and now I'm learning we're both mentally ill. I am bipolar and not ashamed to admit it. And it is because of my illness that I know just how you feel when your mind is not quite working properly and the depression is making you feel like everyone is out to get you. I promise you, they're not.

    Take a break from the blog, but don't totally leave it unless you're certain that's what you want to do. And if you do, that's ok. But for now, just give your sweet baby ratties a big hug and kiss because they can make any bad day seem better.

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  39. I've greatly enjoyed reading your posts and entering your contests. I don't think you post too much or too little. I personally beat myself up all the time that I haven't put up enough posts or have put off posts etc. However I am fortunate that I haven't gotten nasty comments or emails.

    What it comes down to is you need to do whats good for you. If blogging doesn't make you happy anymore...than you shouldn't kill yourself to blog. (Although I will miss your posts) As for those #*&%)# people who have made nasty comments or sent you nasty emails...well....Bleep em yup Bleep em...

    While I hope you don't shut down completely I do understand if you do.

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  40. Amanda, I know it's hard, but please don't let the haters get you down. You need to do what YOU need to do. Take care of your obligations, then slow things down to a pace you're comfortable with. Don't let someone else chase you away from something you love.

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  41. Don't let the negative and unspportive comments of a couple people get you down. I hope you are feeling better soon.

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  42. screw the ones who bitch. Take time off, set up your email to automatically tell people you are on vacation. Come back in a month or two and start again...people will come back. Or start a new one and just keep it to one post a day or even just 2 or 3 a week. Whatever works for you. The world won't end for anyone waiting on you...take care of yourself!

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  43. I'm speechless Amanda! You should let me know who these inconsiderate idiots are.
    I think they need reminded that they are not the only people on earth and if they are so upset over a blog they need to get a life!!!!
    I am bummed that you are upset.. i hope you can go on vacation and visit Aaron's family,if that is whats in the stars,go for it,you will feel better that you did.
    you could take a break for a year and the majority of us would still be here with open arms(eyes?)when you returned.
    I read your blog because i care about you,not because of giveaways to get something for free.
    I would say that rude people amaze me but im really not surprised by aholes anymore.
    Their brains are just jumbled in a way that makes me just laugh,shake my head and brush them off and hope that they see the light someday.
    You are strong,you are strong,you are strong!

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  44. I am amazed that people are demanding that you post more. They really need to get a life. I write a cupcake blog and sometimes go weeks without a new post just because nothing really inspires me to post on it for a while but thank god I've never received an email demanding I post more. That's ridiculous. I do feel guilty when I don't update my blog sometimes and I probably lose readers but I don't want to feel required to post on a blog I started myself.

    Good luck figuring out the best thing for you to do.

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  45. People have been saying they won't visit if you don't post more? What the heck??? Blogging should be fun and not stressful. It does sound like a break right now might be best - but I do hope that you come back when life gets more under control.

    Is there any way you can block the people who are ridiculing you? I am sorry that is happening - I can't even imagine what kind of people would stop to say something instead of just moving onto a blog they like. :(

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  46. Amanda,
    Please don't stop blogging because a few insensitive/impatient/arrogant people have their fannies in a pickle. If you stop, that means they win. I think if you were to stop, you might wish you hadn't. You said you love blogging so keep doing it. Everyone deserves a break and that includes you- I hope you decide to visit Aaron's family. I hope you are feeling better soon.
    Elaine

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  47. Im very sorry that ppl are so hurtful. I just want you to know that i personally love your blog and would miss it greatly but you have to do what is best for you!! Take care of yourself and your family. No one else (especially in the blogging world) matters

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  48. Im very sorry that ppl are so hurtful. I just want you to know that i personally love your blog and would miss it greatly but you have to do what is best for you!! Take care of yourself and your family. No one else (especially in the blogging world) matters

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  49. I am a blogger myself and I understand where you are coming from. I have a full time job, take care of my grandmother and little brothers (my mom passed away two years ago) and I blog because I love it so much! It gets very overwhelming at times to keep up with everything and sometimes I think it would be better for me to just give up blogging so I have more time. I remember reading your other post about your rats where you said you would get hate mail about them and now this, I don't understand why people would be so mean and hurtful! Sorry you had to come back from your visit to such hurtful comments/emails. I wish you the best with whatever you decide but I would do whats best for you and not just because what hurtful people say.Keep your head up and be proud of your blog and yourself for everything you have to offer, no one is perfect and we can never do everything we wish we could. Be with your family and have fun and don't pay attention to negative people who don't even know you well! Best of luck to you!

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  50. I quite understand what you're feeling. I get overwhelmed by some 500 emails a day. Most of mine are junk mails; I'm assuming I've gotten on spam lists because of commenting different places, having my blog, entering some iffy giveaways, and those stupid hackers that have posted my email address with the thousands of others they stole. I'm trying to build up my blog, just started reviewing for a book site (free review copies, yay!), volunteer with a local theatre company, plus work full time. When I take even one day off, emails start to bounce because my isp has set ridiculous limits. (I can have unlimited accounts but a limited amount of mail in each box - but since we only have a handful of accounts between my husband and I, it's not quite fair.)

    I don't understand why people complain that you're not posting more often. With 9,000+ blogs and other websites and facebook and twitter,not to mention real life, do these people not have something else to do if you don't post for a few days? Sheesh.

    I guess what you have to do is weigh the benefits of having a successful blog (freebies or pay for reviews and perhaps some special opportunities) vs. your enjoyment of life and your blog. If it's more trouble than it's worth, just blog for YOU and the readers who care about you. If some people drop off, so be it. I get your emails whenever you have a new post, so I can keep up with what's happening, and if you don't post for a month, I'll still be here when you do post.

    (((hugs))) Don't let it all get you down. :)

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  51. What the hell is wrong with people?!! Amanda, I have praised you so much for reaching out when you are depressed and how much you have made me want a rat again, well you inspired me enough that I now have my new baby Lafeyette (my favorite character from True Blood) and he is my sweetie!! He came to me so little and cute and he has really grown a lot!! I don't want to overwhelm you, but I just wanted you to know it was because of you that I have a new family member!! I wish you would just block out those cruel and hateful people and tell them "If you don't like the way I write my blog then BITE ME!!!" You can't please everyone and the ones you can't please should just shut up and leave you alone!! I was going to send you an email telling you this, but I want people to see this!! You have every right to visit whoever you want as LONG as you want, I think it's wonderful that you will be able to also visit your husband's family!! Just let the mean and rotten people stew in their own juices and please, please, PLEASE ignore them!! Miserable people love company and they know how to make you unhappy, don't give them that satisfaction. Be happy!! Love you, your rats, your husband, your families, and when you have the time-your blog, in that order!!! (Okay, maybe your husband should be before the rats, my bad) but I hope you get my point to this whole post!! If you decide not to write your blog anymore I really wish you well and I thank you for all of the pictures, and laughs, and giveaways, and all of your hard work!!!
    Take care and if you ever want to talk you have my email address, please use it!!
    :0)

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  52. It's terrible that other people feel the need to say rude or hurtful things for you. Blogs are intended to be an outlet for the writer - not anything that they 'owe' to their readers. If they are unhappy with how often you post or with your posts they should just stop following instead of threatening you or being hurtful.

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  53. As someone with Chronic Clinical depression I can relate. I'm amazed, admiring and impressed that you managed to run a blog through it. That required strength, so don't sell yourself short. I know some of the things we do to help with depression, some of which I am not so proud of it, and some just plain stupid stuff. In the end though we have to do whatever we need to do to survive it, and to h--- with what anyone else says, or would say. Unless you've been there you can't possibly know.

    I understand that blogging is about numbers but if people are not willing to be patient or supportive, you don't need them. Everyone deserves vacation and downtime. There is no reason for anyone to be rude or demanding. Again I'd say, to h--- with them. Ignore them, take your time, go at your own pace, do what you need to. True fans will stick with you. The others you simply don't need.

    Having spent 20+ years dealing with clients I know that there are people who will always complain, and people who will never be happy. All you can do is your best. If they don't like it THEY can move on. You can't take it personally. I know this is sometimes easier said than done. But you have to remember their behaviour and attitude is their problem not yours. I always try and remember that if they have to act that way there life must be miserable and unhappy. Think about it, have you ever known truly happy people to act like a------s? I haven't.

    If closing down the blog is what you need to do, then go for it. Just don't think of yourself as weak. It's not true. You have shown strength and perserverence. I don't think I'd last a month blogging. It seems so time consuming, not to mention it's a lot of work.

    I just wanted to write because I was upset that you thought of yourself as weak. I beg to differ. Good luck no matter what you decide to do with the blog.

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  54. Big hugs from me to you. Just remember, for every two terrible comments from insensitive readers, you have 200 who are supporting you.

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  55. Amanda I am so sorry to read that you are depressed and feeling so overwhelmed. You are correct in that writing this blog should not be having such a negative effect on your mental health. Maybe you should consider taking a well earned rest from your blog for awhile. I don't know if that is the answer but it is something to mull over. I send you a huge {{{{HUG}}}}. Please let us know how you are doing soon.

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  56. I don t understand why someone would leave a mean comment / email. You have always been so open and honest with what is going on in your life - that takes courage. I love your blog and hope you stay, but you have to whatever is going to work best for you. Maybe you just take a month or two off?!

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  57. I've come to realize that there's many people out there that will try to make you feel bad regardless of whether you do a good job or a bad job. Just ignore them. YOU and YOUR family come first. If you don't take care of yourself who else will. They need to make other people feel bad in order to make themselves feel good. I've followed your blog since over 1 year ago and its because of who you are and how real you are. You don't act like life is peachy perfect. You don't need to give an explanation on why your taking a break just do it your real followers will understand and be here once you return. and any nasty e-mails or comments just delete immediately it's always easy to be nasty and hide behind an e-mail or anonymous comment.

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  58. Its horrible when people judge you for what you may do as a hobby and others start taking it for granted and even go so far as to criticize you when you are not able to meet the "deadlines". A blog is a means by which the bloggers could vent out whatever they are most passionate about! You certainly do not "owe" your readers anything!!
    I can't believe people would be insensitive enough to send rude emails to you for not posting frequently! Take your time. Put yourself and your family before anything or anybody else. Your loyal followers would always be here for you, the other "impatient and rude" ones can take a hike! You have worked really hard to reach this point, I would advise you not to completely close down the site, you can take a break and come back whenever you feel like it.
    Our prayers are with you!

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  59. Its horrible when people judge you for what you may do as a hobby and others start taking it for granted and even go so far as to criticize you when you are not able to meet the "deadlines". A blog is a means by which the bloggers could vent out whatever they are most passionate about! You certainly do not "owe" your readers anything!!
    I can't believe people would be insensitive enough to send rude emails to you for not posting frequently! Take your time. Put yourself and your family before anything or anybody else. Your loyal followers would always be here for you, the other "impatient and rude" ones can take a hike! You have worked really hard to reach this point, I would advise you not to completely close down the site, you can take a break and come back whenever you feel like it.
    Our prayers are with you!

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  60. Wishing you all the best. Happy to see your blog back in town. As I posted before, this is so nice
    to give your loyal followers a chance to say "hello" etc. from a Canadian fan, eh.

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  61. Any of us that have been blogging for any length of time have received comments/emails from internet trolls that usually have their own insecurities that make them want to insult or complain to bring other people down to how they are feeling so don't take it personally.

    My thoughts have always been unless you are blogging as a business and main source of income, it should be a labor of love/therapy, not a job the joy can be zapped out of by feeling that you have to instead of you want to.

    The bottom line is that you don't have to and real life should always take a priority over a cyber one and no apologies or explanations should be or are needed.

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  62. Hey girl I'm not gonna lie there are so many days I feel the same as you and I told you this before so you know how I've been feeling whatever you choose I'm behind you 100%. You don't need to put up with that mess at all whether you block those people or not or even if you just step away from your blog for a long break or you delete it I'm here if you need me.

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  63. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling down! I hope that you will feel better soon. I enjoy your blog- but you really need to do what makes you happy! Don't let negative people get you down. :)
    ~Jess

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  64. Been wondering how it's going - hugs and sending positive thoughts your way!

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  65. Sorry I did not see this before as I hope you know I am always in your corner! <3 I don't understand people who act mean and selfish, but I know there are those who do. I am sorry you have been the recipient of some unpleasant messages. You have to put your health and well-being ahead of demanding people. Don't let others make you feel guilty (I know, easier said than done). You have always done above and beyond for your readers and some are just spoiled and want to demand more and more. You have to shut that all out somehow and look at the big picture as to what is best for you & your future. Take care of you! If you ever just need to vent, cry, laugh, or whatever, you are always welcome to send me an email, write - you have my address, or phone - if you don't have my number any more, I will gladly give it to you! Remember there are many people who care about you! Judy

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